Photo taken by Sarah Fennell
I think sometimes it’s easy to get caught up with who we are today, or who we want to be in the future. But do you ever stop to appreciate all the people you have been? All the different skills and facets of your personality that developed over time to make you who you are? Do you ever think about all the people who’ve crossed your path that completely shook up and influenced your life?
I lost someone special to me recently. Even though we had lost touch over the years, I always thought fondly of him and wished him well. He taught me about love, humour, balance, and generosity. The loss of him shook me to my core and woke me out of what felt like a deep sleep. Suddenly life felt fragile. Fleeting. His passing reminded me of the importance of self love and self care. The only comfort I have found since I heard the news is how grateful I am that I knew him. That I got to be a part of his life.
I usually spend each day hyper focused on who I want to be, and how long it will take for me to get there. But today I woke up thinking about all the different “Alicia’s” I’ve been throughout life. Rocker Alicia, student Alicia, spiritual Alicia, artist Alicia. The list goes on and on. As I grow and change over time, some of these versions of myself go up on a shelf and only come out once and awhile, but I’ll always carry them with me. Same goes for teachings of the major influencers in my life.
There are people who taught me about health and spirituality, that blew my mind wide open. People who taught me about love, intimacy and communication. People who taught me to laugh, relax, explore, or enjoy life. Then there are the people who taught me to stand up for myself, draw boundaries, and love myself more than anyone else.
I suppose my point is this: every person is a mirror and every experience is a teacher. It’s how we are different and how we show up that makes us who we are. Sometimes I get so stuck on “if I only had this thing or was doing this one experience, I would be whole or happy”. Or questioning “how could I have been that person, or made those decisions?” But we are imperfect, ever changing, ever learning, ever expanding, growing beings. Life is all about births and deaths. Receiving and letting go.
So today I choose to look in the mirror and say “I love you and embrace you self, and all the many selves that you are, have been, and will be”. Today I recognize that life is a flow, that nothing will stay the same (the good and the bad), and the importance of enjoying what is, in the moment. Today I thank every person that has influenced me and the teachings they have blessed me with.
